Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My breasts were aching with rage.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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