who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
