so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
