she woke up with a sticky ear
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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