we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
