I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm like, not good at living.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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