just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
