I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
