what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
