I CAN MOONWALK!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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