I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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