So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
