he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
