i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
