I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
True but thats because hes a fetus.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
