Cold hands, warm shart.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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