I hope mine doesn't look like that
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
