I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
