My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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