hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
