the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize