Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cheesecake22 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

Fav 31 1289 3984
share tweet
(858): View more from California

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

Fav 35 8889 1134
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

Fav 22 6844 1621
share tweet
(979): View more from Texas

if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances

Fav 28 7702 1740
share tweet
(302): View more from Delaware

I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.

Fav 4 1033 3625
share tweet
(916): View more from California

I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.

Fav 5 3660 1020
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

Fav 4 2084 1232
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.

Fav 0 53 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???

Fav 0 151 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT