I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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