Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize