Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
