I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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