my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
