I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
