Nicole vs. Life
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
