I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Mom said you looked used
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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