Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
