well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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