I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
North Korea, Best Korea!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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