She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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