the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
zippers are such a cool invention
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
