I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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