Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
