At least make sure they are 18
Why
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
