a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
