we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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