so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
