Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
