Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
