i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize