Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How external is "for external use only"?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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