I swear she didn't look like that last week.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
