Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
