I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
