I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
