is your mom at the bar?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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