No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
