so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
