I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
