I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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