It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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