Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
