1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize