I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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