I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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