Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
zippers are such a cool invention
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
