lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
