If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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